I have been in a bit of a funk lately. Its amazing that how most of my friends have the same types of funks. I sometimes wonder how they deal with them and get out. It seems for all of us we are at are most upbeat when we have a goal in mind and are training hard for it. Once we get injured, distracted or otherwise have the wheels come off it is hard to find the on ramp that gets us back on our merry way.
My family helps me alot. I like the noise and chaos that happens when there are 5 children and two adults in a house. David the baby just lays around and watches the show. Kevin is naked and running around in circles yelling naked boy having just got out of the tub. Mathew is chasing him with some invented gun. Laura is playing her clarinet at 100 decibles. And Sarah is just in a foul mood yelling at anybody who passes by.
It has really been a tough month. Not my worst mind you. I had to remind myself at one point that it was actually nothing compared to the first few months of 2001. first, after all the work for baja, it was over the first day. Then as you know our car broke down in the middle of our family trip that was suppose to be relaxing. What do you do when your car is broken down on the side of the road in the middle of nowwhere with you family in it, twice? And then Sea Otter; I am smart enough to know that in a short race my ass gets toasted by most everybody else on the team. I am older and they are just bad ass racers. I specifically didn't elect for any sprints with the team. Then Matt blew up his knee.
Matt would have been great in Sea Otter. I think that it was a race that was tailored to his abilities. When the teams got set, I made the mistake of racing a short race and doing the nav. It is hard enough to keep up with Seegs and Aaron but to nav as well is just more heeped on the pile. I should have insisted that Aaron nav since he is such a strong biker. So in the struggle of the race they see me at my worst and I feel like I let them down a bit. My performance was less than optimal.
Finally, I got to spend another week away from the family and that's propably the worst. When I am going away to a long race and I am in the middle of it, I always tell myself to go fast and get it done so that I can get home or at least talk to my family sooner. That's my motivation.
So I took last week off from everything. Spent time doing what needed to be done. Maybe it's God's way of letting me know what's most important. In the end, it doesn't matter how many hours I train or how well I do at a given race, I have my family and that's where my real life lies. I just wish I wouldn't eat so much when I'm in the funk.
Now, I'm hungry to get back in it and I will be doing more speed workouts and short races so that I can suffer well when RVG is riding me like an old mule.